What are the most important aspects of a healthy relationship that you and your partner need to satisfy?

If I were to make such a list, it might look like this:

  1. Do you trust them? (Not can you, but do you.)
  2. Do they trust you?
  3. Do the two of you communicate well?
  4. Do the two of you communicate openly?
  5. Do you feel safe sharing everything–sexual fantasies, past failures, hurts, traumas, everything–with them?
  6. Do you make it safe for them to share everything with you?
  7. Are you both secure in your relationship?
  8. If not, can you deal with your fears and insecurities without attempting to control one another?
  9. Do they support you in your goals, ambitions, and dreams?
  10. Do you support them in theirs?
  11. Are those goals and dreams compatible?
  12. Do you share mutual authentic vulnerability with one another?
  13. Do you share a common vision for what you each want the relationship to look like?
  14. Do you mutually and reciprocally forgive one another your faults and failings?
  15. Is your happiness important to theirs?
  16. Is their happiness important to yours?
  17. Do you both want to be in the relationship?
  18. Do you genuinely like one another?
  19. Do you both understand that you will grow and change, and seek to build a relationship flexible and resilient enough to accommodate that change?
  20. Do you each make clear your needs and expectations, clearly and in ways the other can understand?

Please comment yo add yours below…

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